Dancing on the Edge, Chapter 4

  • Posted on November 17, 2017 at 11:15 am

By Jos Mous

A day passed. And another. And another. And in that time, little was said. Certain subjects got carefully avoided. There are just some things you don’t talk about.

Then one night, Mac got fed up with it. She was tired of lying alone in bed touching herself, thinking of Sam while it was very possible that she could simply be with Sam. Mac got out of bed, walked over to her closet and took out a nightshirt. She normally slept in the nude and hadn’t been very happy when Sam had insisted on buying it for her, but now it came in very handy.

Mac left her room, entered Sam’s room, walked over to the bed and stopped, wondering how to proceed from here. She knelt down on the floor and looked at the sleeping woman. It was dark, so she couldn’t see much, but she could still recognize the similarities between them. Mac suspected that if Sam had been the odd seventeen years younger, the two of them might’ve passed for twins.

Mac hesitantly reached out and softly stroked the woman’s hair. In her sleep, Sam gave a little sigh of contentment.

“Sam?” Mac whispered. She waited for a moment, then said her sister’s name again, a little louder this time.

“Hmm?” Sam said, slowly opening her eyes. “Mac?”

Mac smiled and drew her hand back. “Yeah.”

“What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

“I know, but… we need to talk.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“No,” said Mac. “We’ll just avoid the issue again.”

Sam sighed. “Okay, talk.”

“I love you, Sam. More than I should. And you told me you loved me too.”

“I know what I said,” Sam said softly. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“But it does, Sam. I love you, I want to be with you.”

“I know Mac — and I admit it, I feel the same way, but… people won’t understand.”

“Sam, I don’t give a rat’s ass about people’s opinions. And you shouldn’t either.”

“But, Mac…”

“Sam, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me enough to have some kind of relationship with me, and I’ll leave and won’t bring up the subject ever again.”

“Mac, that’s not fair.”

“Tell me, Sam. Say the words and I’ll go.”

Sam looked up and into her sister’s eyes. They say the eyes are the mirrors of the soul. Sam wasn’t entirely convinced that this was true. But even in the darkness, she could see things there. Fear, anger, anguish, pain, love. Sam knew perfectly well she had feelings for her sister that she shouldn’t, but thought that she could simply ignore them until Mac found someone of her own age to fall in love with, someone who wasn’t related to her.

But as Sam gazed at her baby sister, she could see that wasn’t going to happen. Mac had already made her decision, if it was possible to decide who you were going to love.

“Mac, I…”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to realise the consequences, if we’re really going to do this. You can’t tell anybody, we can’t openly share affection, we have to keep this a complete secret.”

“Does that mean that we… you know…”

“Yes,” Sam said. “God help me, but if you really love me, then… maybe we can make it work.”

Mac smiled and hesitantly leaned forward. When she noticed that Sam wasn’t going to back away, she drew closer still and kissed her.

She had kissed and been kissed before, but not like this. Never like this. She’d been kissed just before sex and even a few times during sex. Those kisses had been hungry and impatient, something to fill the time before the fucking got started.

But this…

This was strange… gentle. It didn’t feel as good as an orgasm, but it did make her feel better than when she had an orgasm. It made her feel…

Loved.

Mac had never been loved before. She rather liked the feeling.

The kiss ended the way it had started: slow, soft and tender.

“Wow,” said Mac.

“Yeah,” said Sam.

“Sam, can I… can I sleep with you… I mean, in your bed, with you, not in the… well, you know…”

Sam smiled. “Of course you can.”

Mac quickly got into bed and felt Sam’s arms around her, pulling her closer. The girl revelled in the feeling. It was like the kiss in a way, something wasn’t exactly sexual, but simply loving.

“I love you, Sam.”

“I love you too, Mac.”

Mac reached up, Sam reached down and their lips met again. During the kiss, the two sisters tried to pull themselves as close to each other as they could, hands roaming backs, legs twining. Almost on automatic, one of Mac’s hands left Sam’s back, slid to her stomach, then down.

“Mac…” Sam gasped, breaking the kiss.

“Sam, I want to make love to you. Please?”

“If you do that, there really will be no going back.”

“Sam, there was no more going back ever since the day I rang your doorbell.”

Sam smiled. “That’s true, I guess.”

“So?”

Sam briefly stroked Mac’s cheek with her hand and kissed her. “Do what you will, little sister. I’m yours.”

*****

It was some time later. Sam didn’t really know how much later. From the moment Mac had first kissed her, time had stopped having meaning.

Mac was sleeping peacefully, using her body as a pillow. The few items they’d been wearing were scattered around the bed. Her younger sister had made love to her. It didn’t feel dirty, as she’d expected. Instead, Sam felt as if things were right for the very first time in her life.

Sam knew that she shouldn’t feel like this. Maybe it should bother her that she didn’t feel guilt.

After Mac had so expertly driven her to a peak, she had wanted to repay the favour and had made love to her sister. Unlike Mac, Sam had never been with a woman before, and at first she hadn’t really known what to do. But Mac had patiently guided Sam each step of the way until…

Eyes closed, face scrunched up, Mac had shouted a single word.

Sam’s name.

And in that cry, Mac had somehow managed to convey how much she loved her big sister. It was sick, wrong, twisted and disgusting.

But Sam didn’t care. She wasn’t certain if she loved Mac as much as the girl loved her, but she wasn’t going to let her sister notice the difference.

Sam kissed the sleeping girl’s hair, closed her eyes and tried to get a little sleep as well.

*****

Sam was sitting on the couch in the living room with both arms around Mac, who was half sitting, half lying on the couch. They hadn’t really talked again since that night. They had kissed and hugged and sometimes touched each other, but hadn’t spoken about it. Right now, words weren’t necessary and they both sensed that if they tried to simply sit down and really talk about what they’d done, everything would fall to pieces.

“Sam…” said Mac, slowly and reluctantly.

“Yes?”

“You know how I got pregnant?”

“You told me, yes.”

“And… you know how I got an abortion, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well… I sort of didn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Her name’s Jennifer. And I left her behind in the States with Dad.”

*****

Tickticktick…

“Mac?”

…tickticktick…

“Mac?”

…tickticktick…

“Yeah?”

…tickticktick…

“Are you… feeling nervous?”

…tickticktick…

“No. Why do you ask?”

…tickticktick…

“You seem to have developed a very endearing… err… tic.”

…tickticktick…

“What do you mean?”

…tickticktick…

“Well…”

…tickticktick…

Sam was sitting in a pretty comfortable plush blue chair. Mac was sitting next to her in a very similar chair. The younger girl’s right hand was constantly tapping the armrest while her eyes expressed a sense of cold terror.

“Are you afraid of flying, by any chance?” Sam asked.

…tickticktick…

“No.”

…tickticktick…

“Then how about you stop tapping your fingers on the end table?”

…tickticktick…

“What are you talking about?”

…tickticktick…

Sam sighed. For a moment, she wondered how the girl ever managed to get to Europe. Then she decided to take an approach that had been successfully used time and time again. Well, in the movies at least. She took Mac chin in her hand, turned the girl’s head so that it was now facing her and leaned in.

…ticktickti-

It was a small room of a small motel containing only a few small cockroaches. They had arrived here last night and had spent the night, which had been fairly pleasurable.

It had been a little less than two weeks that Sam had first made love to her sister and ever since then it had become more and more… natural. At first Sam had still been very ambiguous about the whole thing. Her mind kept insisting that having an affair with her sister was just plain wrong. But that voice had gradually faded and had been replaced with a voice that kept insisting that this relationship was not healthy for Mac’s mental well-being somehow. That this relationship would end up hurting Mac in the long run. Then that voice had faded as well.

Now, Sam was nothing but proud that she had been able to win her sister’s love. She knew full well that the entire rest of the world would disapprove if they ever found out, but she also knew that what she had with Mac was very real, and very right.

Now she could give her sister all the love she deserved. And Mac deserved plenty.

Sam smiled at her reflection in the mirror of the medicine cabinet. She put away her toothbrush and toothpaste, then left the tiny bathroom and stepped back into the small room. In the time that Sam had taken to brush her teeth, Mac had gotten up as well. Or at least, she had emerged from under the sheets. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back slightly so that her nakedness was clearly visible. Sam looked at her for a moment and felt the fire course through her body.

Not long ago, she still would have been ashamed of that reaction. Coming to terms with her love for Mac had been much easier that coming to terms with the desire she felt for her sister’s body. In any normal relationship, honest love was more important than pure lust. In an incestuous relationship, honest love was wrong — and pure lust was so incredibly wrong that there was no word strong enough to describe it.

Yes, she wanted her sister’s body.

Yes, such a desire was immoral.

And no, she didn’t really care about that anymore.

“Did I already mention I love you?” Sam said.

“Not since the three times when I woke up,” said Mac. The girl stretched lazily, arching her back.

“You’re not being very subtle, Mac,” said Sam, with a slight smile.

“Subtlety is relative,” said Mac. She stood up, ran her hands over her body once and slowly walked towards Sam, moving her body sensuously. When she was standing in front of Sam, she pulled the woman down into a searing kiss. “Come back to bed with me,” she whispered.

“I stand corrected,” said Sam.

“I wasn’t trying to prove a point,” said Mac. “Come on…”

“As much as I want to… no.”

Mac pouted. “Aww, please?” she said, her hands wandering in places that could just barely be classified as not intimate.

“Mac, we don’t want to keep your daughter waiting.”

Mac quickly stepped back, a frown on her face. “That wasn’t fair.”

“We’re not here to have fun,” said Sam.

“I know…” said Mac. “I just… I was just trying to forget.”

“Mac, do you honestly want Jennifer to grow up with Mike for a father?”

Damn it, Sam,” said Mac.

“I’m sorry,” said Sam. “But please, just get dressed and let’s go. The sooner we’re done, the better, right?”

“Yeah. Right.”

*****

Mac stood in front of the door. She stared at the doorbell. She looked at it for quite some time. Then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and rang. She stood still, realising that her body was shaking with dread. She felt a comforting hand slip into one of her own and give a slight squeeze. The dread didn’t leave.

Mac whimpered as the door opened to reveal the figure of Mike McQueen. It took the man a few seconds to take in who was standing in front of him. Then his face contorted into a mask of rage.

“Where the hell have you been?” he bellowed. “You’ve been gone for months!”

“I know,” said Mac, her voice small. “I’m sorry.”

Mike looked at Sam and didn’t recognise her. “I take it you’re the one who found her,” he said. “No doubt you walked in while she was screwing your son. Well, don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.”

“Actually, she came running to me when she left here,” said Sam.

“And now you’re here to bring the little troublemaker back,” said Mike. He turned back to look at Mac. “Haven’t you realised yet we’re all you’ve got!? No one would want a worthless little slut like you!”

Mac seemed to wilt before her father’s anger. “Yes, Daddy.”

Sam’s hands clenched, her jaw stiffened.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” said Mike, looking back at Sam. “I’ll deal with her now.” Reaching out, he seized Mac’s arm, making the girl cry out in surprise and pain. “Get in the house, God damn you!”

Sam’s anger flared. She was against violence on principle, but she realised there were times when principles had to take a back seat. She pulled back with one fist, then let it rush forward, hitting Mike squarely in the face. Mike fell back, hit the ground and didn’t get up.

It took Sam a moment to calm herself. When she did, she noticed that Mac was trembling from head to toe.

“Mac?”

Mac had her eyes closed, she seemed to be talking to herself.

Instinctively, Sam pulled the girl into a hug. Mac broke out of her reverie and sobbed.

“Seventeen years,” she whimpered.

“It’s okay,” Sam said soothingly.

“I hate him,” Mac whispered.

“You should.”

“I hate you!” Mac screeched, freeing herself from Sam’s embrace and turning to the still unconscious body of her father. “I fucking hate you!”

She kicked Mike twice in the side. Sam stood by and watched impassively, than laid a hand on Mac’s shoulder.

“Go get Jennifer.”

Mac nodded and dashed into the house.

Sam remained outside, thinking. The whole scene had lasted less than a couple of minutes — not enough for her to understand what Mac had gone through for those seventeen long years, but had been more than enough to give her a little insight.

Loving her sister was wrong?

Well… even she still believed that, this would’ve erased the last traces of doubt. There were a lot of things in this world that were wrong and, apparently, Mac had experienced most of them first hand.

No, love was never wrong.

“Sam?”

Sam looked up and her residual anger drained away. “Mom?” she whispered.

“What’s going on?” Jane asked. She looked older. Well, of course she’d aged since last Sam saw her, but much more than she should have.

“I… punched Mike’s lights out,” Sam said.

“Why are you here?”

“Did you see Mac?”

Jane nodded. “Briefly, when she ran up the stairs.”

“Well, when she ran away here, she came to me. And now we’re here to pick up her baby.”

Jane nodded again. “Good. It’s for the best.”

“Mom, how are you?”

Jane sighed. “Not good.”

“Why are you still with Mike? Why didn’t you just pack up and leave when Mike turned out to be…”

“A total bastard?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t, Sam,” said Jane.

“Why not? You can start over somewhere.”

“No, Sam. I’m too old to start over. I don’t think there’s very much left for me.”

“Mom!”

“How’s Mac?”

“She’s fine, now that she’s with me.”

“Good,” said Jane again. “Take good care of her, will you?”

“I promise,” said Sam. “I’ll… make sure she’ll be loved.”

Jane nodded. “Your sister Brooke’s in Canada,” she said.

“What?”

“Brooke… followed Mac’s example. She’s left that horrible husband of hers, and is living in Toronto now. She’s happy.”

“That’s good.”

“So that means everything is all right.”

“But, Mom…”

Jane held up her hand. “I won’t hear of it, Sam. I have three daughters and they’re all fine. I’ve… done my duty as a mother.”

“And now you can rest easily?” Sam said sarcastically, but with a hint of fear.

“Perhaps,” said Jane.

“Mom, please…”

“Let it rest, Sam. Take care of Mac and make sure Jennifer gets a good home.”

Sam sighed. “I will.”

Jane nodded and turned to go inside.

“Bye, Mom,” said Sam.

Jane paused. “Goodbye, Sam,” she said, giving her daughter a brief hug before she disappeared into the house, stepping past Mike to get inside.

A few moments later, Mac appeared again, carrying a sleeping Jennifer in one arm, a cloth bag of what looked like baby things hanging from the other. “Got everything,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Sam. “Yeah, I guess.”

They put Jennifer’s things in the trunk and, with some difficulty, managed to install the baby on the back seat. Sam put the keys into the ignition, hesitated for a moment and looked back at the house. Mac followed her gaze.

“I can’t keep wondering what happened,” Sam said. “What made everything change?”

“Things have never changed,” said Mac.

“You were four when I left, and everything was still fine then.”

“Really? Can’t remember. Can we go now?”

“Sure,” said Sam.

Sam turned on the engine and a few moments later, the car pulled away.

“She barely woke up,” Mac murmured, glancing back at the baby. “Jennifer’s always been a sound sleeper. I sure hope she is tonight… because I want you so much it makes me feel like crying.” She paused, took a deep breath. “I love you, Sam. You’re the best sister in the world. The best lover, too.”

Reaching for the teen’s hand, Sam gave it a squeeze. “I love you too, Mac. “We’re together now, all three of us. Everything will be fine.”

Sam and Mac and Jennifer. They would make a strange family, Sam knew, and she and Mac would be very unusual parents. But at least they would be loving parents.

And there are worse things.

The End

3 Comments on Dancing on the Edge, Chapter 4

  1. PoppaBear says:

    I guess there will be some disappointment among readers that this is only a love story, but it’s a good story, and I would like to thank our principal authors for finding it and republishing it here.

  2. Amanda Lynn says:

    I have to agree with PoppaBear. I too was rather disappointed with the “fade to black” sex scene. Regardless, I enjoyed the story.

  3. JetBoy says:

    It’s true that the story is light on actual sex… but we thought the desire and passion (not to mention the nicely drawn characters) made this very much worth sharing with our readers.

    Sadly, it’s the only story Jos Mous ever posted at Sisters in Love.

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